This first blog post is only for people who like to eat. If you don't like to eat, then don't read this and get busy running/throwing up. Here are a couple of rules for in the kitchen I made for you to make your life easier.
Part One: Clearing up your fridge.
Simple solution: move your stuff. Not every condiment needs refridgerated due to a high density of natural preservatives, like something highly acidic or salty. For instance, pickles are already preserved in vinegar. Vinegar (an acid) itself doens't need chilled, so there is no need for pickles to be either. Others in that group are mustard, hot sauce, steak sauce, worchestershire sauce, and ketchup(2).
Sugary products typically are loaded with preservatives anyways, and sometimes keeping these products at room temperature enhances your eating adventure. This group has jam and jelly, molasses, grenadine, marachino cherries (yes, they were a fruit before absorbing ten pounds of sugar per berry), honey, syrup, and soda. You may say, "But sir, I can only drink my soda cold! Why ever would I want my 2-Liter in the cabinet instead?" To this I reply in the voice of Andy Griffith, "Well... ya did know that, uh, leaving your bottled soda, your plastic bottle in the fridge can reduce its drinkability to zero overnight. An open bottle (cap on, obviously) will last possibly up to a week longer without going stale if kept in the cabinets." Just be careful after you open jellies. They can get mold if they are no longer sealed and left in the cupboard.
Salty condiments that do not need refrigerated include peanut butter (who does that?), soy sauce and, here's the clincher, salted butter. If you keep your butter in a ceramic butter crock or a sealed tupperware container beside the toaster, it can keep up to 10 days (and possibly over) without spoiling.
Also, anything made from oil, like salad dressings (I'm not talking about Ranch, since it's dairy-based). Exception: apparently nut- or seed-based dressings can go spoiled in warm weather in cabinets, so you can keep your honey poppyseed beside the milk. Viniagrettes do not count as cabinet-worthy.
Also, for those of you who use alcohol in your cooking, you can rest assured that the dark recesses of your Lazy Susan (3) will be perfectly fine. This means port, liquers, sherry, vermouth, and any other cooking wines you can think of. Normal drinking wine, like Chardonnay, still needs going in the ice box.
Wow! Look at how clean and spacious your fridge now looks. We have so much room for activities!
Part Two: Effective cutlery-ing?
I hate seeing friends with destroyed cutlery. Destroyed? Destroy is such a strong word. I'll substitute it for: "rotting, rusty, banged-up, dull, no good, busted, stained, warped, melted, lambasted, scorched, and utterly mauled."
1. Sharpen your blades.
A dull knife is more dangerous than a sharp one. It catches on things and gives you nastier cuts while not performing at its best.
2. Hand wash your kitchen swords.
The simplest ways of destroying knives and meat scissors (weird name) is by being lazy. Putting these in the dishwasher stains the blades, rots the wood on the handles (if this applies), and actually can dull the blade. Always hand-wash wooden-handled utensils. I always avoid wood handles for several reasons: they slip from your hand when soapy/greasy, they retain smells (of soap/onion/meat/etc) and they rot. But they do look pretty.
3. Use soft cutting boards.
I said one sentence ago not to use wooden handles for knives. However, I almost solely use wooden cutting boards. Although they can retain smells and aren't necessarily the cheapest to replace, wooden cutting boards don't dull your blade very quickly. Plastic is a great alternative (even though they're ugly). Colored plastic cutting boards are typically of lower quality and less durable. Stick with white. Finally, to avoid at all costs, are glass cutting boards: they're expensive, fragile, loud, and dull your blades rapidly.
1. Sharpen your blades.
A dull knife is more dangerous than a sharp one. It catches on things and gives you nastier cuts while not performing at its best.
2. Hand wash your kitchen swords.
The simplest ways of destroying knives and meat scissors (weird name) is by being lazy. Putting these in the dishwasher stains the blades, rots the wood on the handles (if this applies), and actually can dull the blade. Always hand-wash wooden-handled utensils. I always avoid wood handles for several reasons: they slip from your hand when soapy/greasy, they retain smells (of soap/onion/meat/etc) and they rot. But they do look pretty.
3. Use soft cutting boards.
I said one sentence ago not to use wooden handles for knives. However, I almost solely use wooden cutting boards. Although they can retain smells and aren't necessarily the cheapest to replace, wooden cutting boards don't dull your blade very quickly. Plastic is a great alternative (even though they're ugly). Colored plastic cutting boards are typically of lower quality and less durable. Stick with white. Finally, to avoid at all costs, are glass cutting boards: they're expensive, fragile, loud, and dull your blades rapidly.
4. What to buy.
If you're replacing your blades, ask a specialist in a cooking store what they use. The Chambersburg Mall had a kitchen store (not sure if they still do), and I talked to the manager for a solid 30 minutes about what the best was. Seek advice from pros (sorry I'm not saving you time here) and read reviews. Generally, a $40 set with a fancy holder should last you less than a year. If you want to buy nice knives, you're looking at $120-$1200. I'm still poor, so I use the cheap ones.
That's all I have for tonight, but look forward to additional parts dealing with the kitchen. I'll eventually write about meaningful things, but a tidy kitchen is meaningful to me! Thanks for reading.
Good night and good luck.
Footnotes:
(1) Ever notice how we spell fridge with a "d" and refigerate has none?
(2) Cold ketchup is gross. It gets crusty.
(3) I'd hate to be named after a product like this. Lazy Susan? How about a "Nifty Nancy," or "Conveniently Crafted Calvin" or an "Exceedingly Engineered Edward?" I don't understand what is lazy about effectively using storage space.
